And all of a sudden I was there- being on the island of my dreams. But something's got to give.
In the year 2016 something unusual and extraordinary happened. It was for sure one of the highlights for the past months at that time. My father told me that we are going on a trip to an island somewhere in the Atlantic ocean. This sounded so crazy and so unrealistic to me. You see I come from Eastern Europe, i have just began working at a company with a decent income, but i still couldn't afford such a journey on my own. Plus, i was not sure if i could get away from the 9-5 routine for 2 weeks. I didn't have to take a day-off for the next 6 months. It sounded impossible and i almost didn't speak to my manager to ask for permission. I was scared that he would decline it, so i didn't even want to try.
Now it sounds so stupid to me. Of course, I should have asked and kept on asking. The worst that could have happened was to receive a "no" as an answer. But it would not be the end of the world. If i was a motivational speaker i would put this as a personal example of what not to do!
In the end i got the courage and i asked my manager at that time for the holidays. Well, it turned out, that i was doing very well at work and it was already during the first months when I was exceeding the company's expectations, and my results were more than satisfactory, so he gladly approved my request.
On the one hand i can admit i was a bit shocked, since i didn't expect it. I used to "program" myself for the "worst-case-scenario". Always. I have seen it in a film probably sometime ago, and I kept doing it. Like i was a secret spy or an agent, or a terrorist even. Who knows what was on my mind, but it kept me on hold for so many ideas. Since i realised it, i began working on it, so that i don't sabotage myself anymore. If possible. Anyway, at that time i already got the approval that i needed. Now i just had to wait for the months to pass.
Meanwhile, i was going to work, coping with the daily routines at home, meeting my friends for a drink at the weekend and enjoying myself. We even went to the seaside for our summer holiday. We had a great time, lots of fun. The months were passing and everything seemed okay.
Until i remembered that i actually had to spend so much time with my father, brother and sister. And there was one problem. Cigarettes. At that time i was smoking around a package a day, and none of those family members knew about it. My father is a doctor and he never approved of the nicotine. He is all about the healthy lifestyle. Well, i was also understanding the harms of the cigarettes and i knew that i was addicted. But until then i couldn't do anything about it.
Now it was time to decide. Am i going to this dream vacation or am i going to risk everything by hiding every minute in some corner smoking and loosing all the good vibes that were supposedly going to happen? And on top of it, i always wanted to quit because of my mother. She was the only one who knew about my smoking habits and, of course, she didn't approve. And you now, i felt like a real grown-up who had to make adult decisions. And i did. I decided to quit on 10.08.2016, a day before my mother's birthday- 11.08 and 4 months before going to the island. It was the best thing that happened to me that year. The island was beginning to change me in a positive way, even before reaching it. Miracles began to just happen and i was getting excited about what's next.
